


Supernatural 29

by LadyHolmes221



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 29 oneshots, AU, Angst, Fluff, I dont know how to tag, M/M, Soulmates, i swear it changes after those four, its been so long im sorry, just skip the first four, thatd actually be the smartest, the first like four chapters are in first pov, word based
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:34:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 18,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22518574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyHolmes221/pseuds/LadyHolmes221
Summary: 29 oneshots, based off of a word. destiel mostly, but some sabriel and saileen. Please enjoy!
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 32
Kudos: 34





	1. Attraction

**Dean Winchester**

I watch as Sam and Cas read through books, trying to find some creature that we're hunting. We've had no luck, but they aren't given up.

I take a swig of beer and let my mind wander. 

_I remember the first time I knew I liked Cas. Like not just some fling, but a full-on I love you, type of attraction._

_It was during Purgatory. I was nervous, frantic, and no one, not even Benny could calm me down. He took me by the arm and practically pulled me down to the river, where Cas was kneeling, in his trench coat and hospital clothes._

_And just then, I remembered how to breathe. I remember how much I needed Cas. How much I needed my best friend. I detach my arm from Benny's and run towards him. Cas stands up, and a grin pulls on his face as I wrap my arms around him._

_"Cas," I say breathlessly. "You're here. We found you." I pull away from the hug, and I knew, just then, that I loved him._

_It wasn't until after Purgatory, after we found him again, that I finally confessed. I told Cas everything, and all he did in response was lean in and press his lips to mine._

_Our relationship hasn't been smooth, but through thick and thin, Cas has always been there. For me, and for Sam._

"Dean?" Cas breaks my thoughts. I look up at my blue-eyed angel and smile. 

"Yes, Cas?" 

"Sam found something, let's go." I stand up, and follow my family out the door.


	2. Wrap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Destiel--SPOILERS FOR S11
> 
> Cas, as a new human, is expierincing all new things, like getting sick.   
> destiel fluff

**Dean's POV**

"Cas! Sammy and I are back!" I shouted, closing the door to the bunker. 

"Cas!" Sam calls a few moments later. I drop my bag in my room and start searching for my boyfriend. 

"Castiel?" A series of coughs from Cas's room has me running to his room. I open the door and smile softly at my angel. Cas leans against the headboard, wrapped in a blanket, his black hair mussed up, and his bright blue eyes dim. His nose is red, and there are tissues surrounding the ex angel. 

"Dean, I think I'm dying." Cas says, his voice rough. I laugh.

"Cas, you just have a cold. Now I'm gonna go run a bath, and then I'll get you nice and cozy, and we'll watch movies? Sound good?" Cas nods, and I ruffle his hair, before heading into the bathroom to start a bath. 

****

Cas comes out of the bathroom, his hair wet, and his eyes brighter. 

"How you feeling?" I ask. 

"Better." Cas replies. I lean back against the bed, ready to cue up the first Star Wars movie. 

Cas sits next to me and curls against my side. I wrap my blanket around him, and play the movie. 

For the next couple hours, Cas and I watch Star Wars, until Cas eventually falls asleep, curled up against my side. 

I snuggle closer to my boyfriend, and let myself fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, kinda short. i promise they might get longer, but it's daily, and i'm very stressed with school and crap.


	3. Serious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sabriel;;;;  
> TAKES PLACE LIKE 1 HOUR AFTER HAMMER OF THE GODS!!! IF YOU HAVENT SEEN THERE ARE SPOILERS SO BEWARE!  
> also it's sad, so sorry

**Sam's POV**

I look down, sadly. 

Gabe left. Again. 

I thought that after this night, it would all be ok. But... then... Lucifer, and the angel blade. 

I let out a sob.

  
Gabe and I weren't ever that serious, it was just some kisses here and there.

But through all of that, I never felt like anyone the way I felt about Gabe. Not even with Jess.

And now he's gone, and I'll never get to tell him how I feel. 

How he made me smile every time he popped into the motel rooms Dean and I stay at. 

How he always brought me news to tell Dean about how Cas was doing, or how he was. 

I pull my wallet out and look a photo Gabe and I took. It was during one of our dates to Paris, one of the few Gabe and I went on, and Gabe took a photo right as he kissed me for the first time. It's one of my favorites, I always keep it around, close to me. 

"Hey, Sam." Dean knocks lightly on the door to the motel we're staying at. I stand up from the bed and go to let him in. "How are you doing?" 

"Good. I'm good. I should be good. Gabe and I weren't serious. Why do I feel so...lost?" I sit back down on the bed, tears running down my face. 

"Because you loved him. No matter what you thought, no matter what you tried to convince yourself, you loved Gabriel. And he loved you back. Anyone could see that." I stand up and wrap my brother in a hug. 

"I miss him, Dean. I miss him so much."

"I know, Sammy, I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> normally i don't write really sad ones, but i had an idea, so here it was


	4. Alcoholic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> destiel.  
> cas is mad that dean is drunk. again.

**Cas's POV**

_Hey...baby...I need you to pick me up...cus I'm a little...just a little...drunk..._

I sigh. This is the third time this month. Most nights Dean will go out to a bar and drink, and I let him, but this month has been hard, after losing Jack, and God. 

I fly to the bar, where Dean is leaning on the brick wall, a beer in hand.

"Cassie!" Dean slurs when he sees me. I frown. 

"Only Gabriel got to call me Cassie, and you know I hate that nickname." I explain to Dean. 

"But baby," Dean pouts. He pushes himself off the wall, and stumbles towards me, tripping over his own feet and ending up in my arms. 

"Dean, we're going home, and you're going to sleep this off, and in the morning we're going to have a long talk." I scold my boyfriend. He nods, grinning wildly. I fly us back to the bunker.

I help Dean to his room and I lay him down, before turning off the lights and shutting the door behind me. 

****

"Cas." I hear Dean call soflty. I grimace and walk to my boyfriend's room. 

"Hey, Dean." I lean against the doorframe, crossing my arms, and glaring at Dean. He smiles weakly at me. "You were drunk. Again. Dean you can't solve all your problems with alcohol." I say exasperatedly. 

"I'm fine, Cas, it's not like I'm an alcoholic." Dean replies. 

"But you are! You go to the bar every night, trying to drink away your sorrows! You forget that there are people still out there who care about you, like Sam. Like me. And it absolutly destroys me to think that you don't care if you die, because you think there is no one left, when there is! There's Sam and me. And we love you, Dean. I love you!" I cry. I sit down on the edge of Dean's bed, tears falling down my face. Dean moves so he's sitting next to me. He wraps his arms around me and I lean into the embrace. 

"I love you too Cas." He replies, his voice muffled. 

"Please...Dean...don't blame yourself for Jack. That wasn't your fault, and you need to remember that the weight of the world isn't on your shoulders, and just...know that I'm here, if you ever need anything." I whisper to him. 

"Thank you Cas. For being here." Dean replies. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized that I don't know how to write drunk scenes, so I hope that was ok.


	5. Familiar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I suck at summaries, sorry.

**Castiel**

Cas never really had a home... no where that felt familiar and comfortable. 

Until he met Dean Winchester. 

The man he pulled from hell. 

God's Righteous Man, causing an angel to fall. 

Who would've thought. 

Not Castiel. But here he was, grace weakened, sitting around a kitchen table, drinking cheap beer and reminiscing about the old days. 

Dean was smiling and laughing, looking happier than he had been in a while. 

Cas grinned, happy that his little family is safe and happy. 

He leaned towards Dean on instinct, and Dean wrapped his arm around him, the feeling safe, comfortable. 

Familiar. 

**Dean**

Dean felt Cas move closer to him, and Dean wrapped his arm around Cas on instinct. 

Dean's childhood hadn't been nice. John moved them around too much for Dean to ever feel like he had a home. The only person he felt truly comfortable with was Sam, and even then, he still hid things from him. 

But then he met Castiel, the Angel of the Lord, who had the ability to see straight through Dean, no problem.

And Cas stayed. He stayed with Dean, stayed _for_ Dean. 

And suddenly Dean met someone who he could be truly transparent with. 

Dean felt Cas drooping beside him and he stood up. 

"We're going to retire for the night." Dean announced. 

Dean gently pulled Cas up and as they walked out of the kitchen, he heard Sam and Eileen wolf-whistling behind him. 

"C'mon, angel, I can't carry you." Dean says, as Cas slumps against him. 

"I know." Cas mumbles. Cas straightens a bit and the two head to Dean's room, where they crawl into bed after changing. 

Cas wraps his arms around Dean's waist and Dean melts at the contact which has been very familiar the past three months. 

"I love you, Cas." Dean murmurs. 

Cas presses his face into Dean's back. "I love you, too. Now go to sleep, Dean."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...sorry its been a year
> 
> but im back 
> 
> and i have a plan!!!
> 
> so there won't be a oneshot a day, but i'm hoping to finish it before 2021 
> 
> alright thanks for reading


	6. Image

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Highschool AU, where Cas is self conscious and Dean comforts him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERE ARE SOME HOMOPHOBIC COMMENTS SO IF THAT TRIGGERS YOU, I WOULD SKIP THIS ONESHOT!!! 
> 
> OKAY THATS EVERYTHING I HOPE YOU LIKE IT

"Hey! Fag! Come back here!" 

Cas gripped his book bag tighter and wove through the halls, trying, and failing, to outrun his bullies. The bell rings, and the hallways emptied out, leaving the trio of bullies and Cas alone in the hallway. 

Azazel, Lucifer, and Abbadon were some of the worst humans Cas had ever met, and he dealt with them almost everyday, coming home covered in bruises and cuts. 

"We're talking to you!" Lucifer taunts. Cas stumbles, and falls, his hands shooting out to stop his fall. 

The trio of bullies caught up with him, and Azazel kicked him in the stomach, causing Cas to fall on his already bruised side. He cries out, before biting his lip. He hated showing any sign of pain, it just made it worse. 

"Aww, did that hurt?" Abaddon mocks, sticking out her bottom lip before cackling. (Yes, cackling. It was terrifying.)

"I heard a rumor that you liked Dean Winchester." Lucifer points out. 

Cas's breath caught in his throat. 

Fuck. 

Dean Winchester was the most handsome person at their high school (He was voted for the yearbook. It was very professional) and Cas's secret boyfriend. 

Dean was fine with being public, but Cas knew that the moment it came out that Dean was gay and dating the school's punching bag, he would most certainly get bullied. Fucking high school. 

So they kept it secret, living on secret stolen kisses and dates late at night. 

Cas flinched as Azazel knelt down. 

"It's hilarious you think that Dean Winchester would ever like someone as ugly and lame as you." The three of them laugh, and Cas feels tears welling up in his eyes. 

_Don'tcrydon'tcrydon'tcrydon'tcrydon'tcry_ Cas told himself, like a mantra. 

"God, now you're crying. What a loser." Azazel aimed one more kick at Cas, before walking off, leaving Cas to clutch his stomach and bring his knees up, tears slipping down his face. 

"Cas! Cas!" Dean runs over to him, and slides to the floor, bringing his hand to wipe Cas's tears away. "C'mon, I'm taking you home."

Dean helps Cas up, and Cas clutches his bruised midriff as the pair limps to Dean's Impala. 

Dean opens the passenger door and Cas sat down, biting his lip as tears spill down his cheeks. 

"Why do you like me?" Cas asks as Dean starts the car. 

"What do you mean?" Dean asks, sparing a glance at his boyfriend, concern shining in his eyes. Cas looks down at his lap, fiddling with his hands. 

"Why do you like me?" Cas repeats. "I'm ugly, I'm useless, I'm a loser. You deserve someone so much better than me." Cas says, voicing every fear he'd had since Dean had asked him on a date. 

Dean swerves, and parks the car, before turning to face Cas. 

"Cas, you're-" Dean stops and takes a breath. "Cas you're amazing. You know every lyric to Taylor Swift, you love Doctor Who, and you love bees, and, honest to God, Castiel, you're gorgeous. And I love every bit of you, from your weird adorable quirks, to you're beautiful blue eyes." 

"Really?" Cas asks, and Dean's heart breaks a little, right there, because Cas stares at him, vulnerability shining in his ocean blue eyes, and Dean moves closer and presses his lips softly to Cas's. 

"Of course. Cas, I love you." Cas freezes, and Dean worries he's spoken too soon, when Cas visibly relaxes. "I love you too. Thank you, Dean."

"For what?" Dean asks, starting the car again. 

"For being here. For being supportive. For not leaving." Cas wipes the tears off his face. "Thank you for making me feel good about myself." Dean reaches out and grabs Cas's hand. 

"I won't leave. I promise. I will never leave you." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's not really the word image, more about Cas's image of himself. (does it count? yes it does.)
> 
> if you've seen all the weird spn shit going on, a) i don't, so a nice recap would be apprieciated and b) what the fuck is going on with the 'rogue translator' im so fucking confused  
> okay thats all,  
> gnight lovelies


	7. Crown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU where Dean is crown prince and is forced to marry, but doesn't want to due to the fact that he is in love with his manservant.

Dean always knew this day would come. 

He tried to put it off for as long as possible, but seeing as John was the king, it was ultimately up to him. 

And so Dean was in an arranged marriage with the next kingdom over. 

Princess Joanna Harvelle. Dean had met Jo on a few occasions. The girl hated the idea of arranged marriages almost as much as Dean, and the two got along nicely. 

In a different situation, Dean would be fine with marrying Jo, only because he knew that both of them were in the same boat, neither of them liking each other romantically. 

But now he's got someone who he loves more than the crown. 

And his father would not approve. 

***

Cas was hired when he was ten. He and the Crown Prince practically grew up together. 

They were good friends, even if they sometimes fought.

And through all of that, with Dean being heir to a throne, with his father wanting to force him into an arranged marriage, Cas still fell in love with him. 

He still kissed him under the mistletoe, thinking that nothing would come of it.

But something did come of it. 

Then Anna, one of Cas's servant friends, told him that Dean was getting married. Cas felt his heart break as he ran to Dean's chambers. 

Cas pushed the door open, ignoring the guards stationed not so causally near Dean's chambers. 

He slammed the door behind him, causing Dean took look up from his desk. 

"When were you going to tell me you're getting married!" Cas demands. Dean flinches, and sets down his quill. 

"Soon." Dean says. Cas moves and sits across from him. "I was going to tell you on my own terms. But I... I didn't know how to say it. It's not like I wanted to be married off, but it's for the kingdom." Dean protests weakly. He hangs his head, and guilt crashes through Cas, wiping out all of his previous anger. 

"Who is it?" Cas asks, dipping his head to meet Dean's eyes. 

"Jo. You've met her." 

"Oh yeah. She seems nice." Cas comments, trying not to let Dean see how much this was hurting him.

Dean says nothing.

"I'm sure you two will be very happy together."

Dean slams his hands on the table. 

"Damnit, Cas, why aren't you getting angry! I'm getting married, and all you have to say is 'she seems nice'!" Dean shouts, standing up and moving to the window. 

Cas follows, and sets a hand on Dean's shoulder, but Dean shrugs him away. 

"How are you so calm!" Dean demands. 

"This isn't about me." Cas answers, letting his hand drop. "I'm just a servant. This is what you want, and I know you, Dean. You want to help your kingdom. You won't jeopardize that for a lowly servant."

Dean spins around and strides over to Cas, grabbing the servant's hands. 

"You have never been _just_ a servant! Not to me, Cas. Never to me." Dean presses his lips to Cas's, and Cas pulls Dean closer. "I'm not going to marry Jo." Dean breathes. 

"You have too, Dean. You can't just not listen to your father because you have a little fling with a servant." Cas says, tears pooling in his eyes. 

"Is that all this is to you?" Dean asks, dropping Cas's hands. 

"Of course not! I love you, but you have a duty to your people." Cas argues. Heat rises in Dean's cheeks. 

"Yeah, well I have a duty to you as well!" Dean exclaims. "I don't want to do this without you." 

"Dean, I'm not worth this!" Cas rebuts. Dean's eyes narrow, and he pushes Cas against the nearest wall and kisses him senseless. 

"Yes you are, Cas. You're everything to me." Dean straightens, running a hand through his hair, and fixes Cas's, before taking his hand and pulling Cas out the door, past the guards, and into the throne room, where John was lounging on his throne. 

"Father." Dean announces, still holding Cas's hand. Cas tries to pull his hand away, to no avail. 

"Dean, what are you doing." Cas hisses, keeping his eyes trained on the floor. 

"Yes, Dean, you know this is my time. What exactly are you doing here." John says, sitting up and smiling a shark like smile. 

"I'm not getting married to Jo. I don't love her."

"Is there some other princess you have a preference to?"

"Yes. No. Kind of." Dean takes a small step forward, and holds up his and Cas's interlocked fingers. 

"I want to marry Cas. Maybe not now. Maybe not ever. But I'm marrying for love. And right now, and probably forever, I love Cas. And I want the choice to marry him. So let me marry who I want, or I'll abdicate, or run away." Dean drops his arm, and takes a sidestep closer to Cas. 

"This-this servant?" John splutters. "You want to break tradition, and the _law_ , for a servant! And a man at that! I could banish you right now, just for saying that."

"But you won't. Because you need heirs. And as far as I know, I'm your only son." Dean knew that even if he was allowed to stay in the palace, and still be with Cas, he couldn't have heirs anyway, but that was not the point of this argument. "You need me so this kingdom doesn't collapse into anarchy."

"Are you...blackmailing me!" John cries, standing up like he's going to call the guards. 

Dean tightens his hold on Cas's hand, and moves his other hand to lightly hover over his sword. "Don't make me do this father." Dean warns.

John sits back down. "Fine. I'll write Queen Ellen, and I'll tell her the marriage is off. She won't be to happy."

"I'm not sure that's quite true." Cas murmurs to Dean. 

Ellen had always been opposed to arranged marriages, only choosing to have Jo and Dean be paired is because Jo told her mother that it was the best thing for the kingdom. At least that's what Anna had told Cas. 

Dean laughs quietly, before looking back at his father. 

"Thank you, Father." Dean and Cas turn and exit the throne room, Dean's words echoing in Cas's mind. 

"Did you mean it?" Cas asks softly the moment they're out of ear shot. 

"Did I mean what?"

"That you would love me forever?" Dean blushes, but meets Cas's eyes, overflowing with adoration and love.

"Yes, I did. It's always been you, Cas." 

"I love you too." Cas nudges Dean's shoulder. "And yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes, I will marry you." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my gosh that was so fun to write!!!
> 
> (Yes that was modeled after merli/merthur leave me alone)
> 
> if you haven't seen merlin, go watch it it's great
> 
> ok byeeeeeee


	8. Invisible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas dislikes lying to his friends, but he's trying to help save the world.
> 
> But he hates spying on his

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'The Man Who Would Be King' (6.20) spoiler warning

"What did you tell him?" Sam asks after pulling Dean into the kitchen. 

"Nothing. Just relax." Dean answers. 

Bobby comes in. "What's the hubbub?"

"I saw Cas. He popped in on me about two hours back."

"What did you tell him?" Bobby demands. 

"Nothing, all right!" Dean exclaims. "Told him we were on some crap monster hunt. He doesn't know that we're getting close to Crowley. You know, he's our friend...And we are lying to him through our teeth."

Cas felt his heart tug uneasily. He hated lying to his friends. And he especially hated lying to Dean. But he didn't say anything. Kept watching them invisibly, feeling each word cut him deeper than any blade. 

"Dean-" Sam starts, but Dean interrupts. 

"So he burned the wrong bones. So Crowley tricked him." Dean argues. 

"He's an angel." Bobby says for explanation. 

"He is the Balki Bartokomous of Heaven! He can make a mistake!" Dean protests. 

"Nobody is saying anything yet." 

Cas almost wished they would, it would make this a lot easier if they all hated him. 

"You think that Cas is in with Crowley? _Crowley_?" Dean exclaims.

"Look, I'm just saying I don't know. Now, look, I hate myself for even thinking it. But I don't know." Bobby says, defeated. Dean bowed his head, and Cas could feel him trying to come up with an argument, that Cas wasn't lying to them. 

But he was. And it hurt. 

"Look, Dean, he's our friend, too, okay? And I'd die for him. I would, but...Look, I'm praying we're wrong here." Sam defends. 

"But if we ain't...If there's a snowball of a snowball's chance here...that means we're dealing with a Superman who's gone dark side. Which means we've got to be cautious, we got to be smart, and maybe stock up on some Kryptonite." Bobby explains. 

Dean pokes Sam's arm. "That makes you Lois Lane." Sam pushes his brother back, and it's about to be a war between brothers (again) when Bobby interrupts. 

"Look, one problem at a time here. We got to find Crowley now, before the damn fool cracks open Purgatory." 

So, they already suspected. Cas hung his head, feeling trust slipping away. 

"Where's Crowley!" Bobby demands. 

"Up yours!" The demon responds, and Bobby stabs it again with the knife. 

Cas couldn't stay here. He couldn't watch Dean struggling to trust Cas, after all they'd been through. He couldn't watch his two friends slowly loose faith in him.

He couldn't watch the love of his life realize that Cas was lying to him all along. 

It was too painful. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahaha
> 
> i don't know if that was good, the whole layout of the episode is cas talking to god, and that's hard to write.
> 
> please leave kudos, thanks for reading!


	9. Spectrum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Modern AU- dean, cas, sam and eileen go to pride

**Dean Winchester**

Dean knew he was bi for about two years, but he also knew that his father was a homophobic asshole, so he kept his sexuality to himself. 

During high school, Dean isolated himself, building walls that only his little brother knew how to get through.

Then he met Castiel. 

The only openly gay kid at his school, and was frequently bullied for it. 

One day, Dean stepped in, defended Cas, and was immediately called a fag. Rumors spread around school that he was gay (which was incorrect) and soon they came around to his father. 

Dean remembered that day so vividly. When his father shouted and screamed like a maniac claiming that 'no son of mine is gay'. He kicked Dean out soon after that. 

Cas told him the next day at school that if Dean wanted, he could live with Cas and his family.

(News gets around fast in a small town.) 

And so for senior year, until college, Dean lived with Cas. The two became close, and come graduation, Dean came out to Cas, officially, and kissed him in a storage closet.

**Castiel Novak**

Cas always knew he was different. He started doing research around middle school, and found out about the LGBTQ+ community. 

He started calling himself gay, and it felt right. 

Cas told his parents a couple weeks after that, and they were so supportive. 

But news gets around too quickly in a small town, and Cas was outed within the week. 

And the bullying started the next week. 

Cas dealt with it. 

But one day, Dean Winchester, who hasn't spoken a word outside of class since Cas had known him, stood up for Cas. 

And he got kicked out the next day. Cas told his parents, and they said that if Dean needed, he could live with them. 

Dean said yes. Occasionally his younger brother would visit, but not often enough for Dean's liking. 

The two of the got closer, and Dean came out to Cas during graduation. 

It warmed Cas that Dean trusted him, and finally, _finally_ , they kissed. 

Purely by luck, the two were going to colleges that were only an hour apart. 

And so they stayed together. 

**Sam Winchester**

Sam hated watching his brother get kicked out. 

He had known that Dean was bisexual, and like a good family member, he was supportive and later did research on bisexuality to make sure he didn't get anything wrong. 

Naturally, Sam visited him and Cas, and could see from a mile away that the two boys liked each other. 

It hurt every time his father gave him a spiel on how homosexuality was wrong, on how Sam was never allowed to see his brother, on how if Sam had anything to do with 'those fags, he would join his brother on the streets'. (Sam had tried to run away four times since Dean was kicked out. John would call the cops, and get Sam arrested. Every time. Sam just stopped trying, knowing he would be out soon.)

But, finally, Sam got out of his father's house and went to Stanford to study law, determined to help kids in abusive households, like Dean, who he hasn't seen in over three years, not since graduation. 

John had forbade any method of finding his 'trash' son. But the moment Sam turned eighteen, he started looking. He knew Dean went to UC Berkeley, but Dean would've graduated by that point, and it made his search a bit harder. 

Finally, he tracked down Dean's phone number, with the help of his girlfriend, Eileen. 

The two found Dean's apartment, and Dean and Sam were finally reunited, and the four of them caught up, and it was nice. 

The four of them made plans to meet up later, when Cas suggested maybe going to the Pride Parade. 

Dean had looked so excited, and so had Eileen and Cas, and even Sam was looking forward to going, so they agreed to meet up. Sam, Dean, and Cas had exchanged phone numbers, and Sam had realized why Dean had seemed different to Sam. He looked happier, lighter, more himself. 

It was a nice change from brooding, silent, Dean, the one Sam had known. Sam knew that it was Castiel who had changed Dean, and Sam couldn't be happier for his brother and Cas. 

**Eileen Leahy**

Bi and proud was how Eileen lived her life. 

Well, bi, deaf and proud. 

Eileen had been born deaf, she spoke ASL better than English, and she had been mocked for that for most of her elementary school career. But she was never ashamed to have a disability, or be bisexual. 

She had always planned to go to college, and get a degree as a teacher. She loved helping children, especially those with a disability, who think that because they're deaf, or mute, they can't do as good as people who don't have a disability. Eileen wanted to show them that they are no different, and they can do anything a non-disabled person can. 

And she got into Stanford. And she met Sam, and he never treated her like a freak, or less than, or anything. He treated her like a person, and she realized she was falling hard and fast. 

But so was Sam. 

They got together junior year of college, after being oblivious best friends for two years. 

She helped Sam track down his brother, and they, along with Dean and Dean's boyfriend, they made plans to go to Pride. 

Eileen had never been to pride, she was so excited. 

She put on her 'Bi, Bi, Bi' shirt, and braided her hair back. 

Eileen met up with Sam outside the dorms. Sam had a 'Proud Ally' shirt, and he reached out to take her hand. 

'Come on,' he signs to her. 'Cas and Dean are waiting.' Eileen nods, and feels a burst of warmth at watching Sam use ASL. 

***

They all four met up at a coffee shop. 

Cas had a 'Sounds Gay, I'm In' shirt, and a rainbow painted on his face. Dean also had a bisexaul shirt that said 'Hello I'm: Bisexual', with the bi flag on both cheeks. 

He and Eileen fist bump, as the two bisexuals in the group. 

"Let's go!" Cas cheers, and leads the other three to where the parade is setting up. 

"How do we walk in a parade?" Cas asks. 

"OH! New people!" The lady turns to them with a grin on her face. "I'm Donna, she/her! If you want to walk in the parade, you need to sign up over there." Donna points to another woman holding a clipboard. "That's my wife, Jody. You check in with her, she'll get you set up." 

Cas thanks her, and the four of them walk over to Jody, who has a pixie esque cut, and a shirt that matches Donna's, with the lesbian flag colors, and it says 'Lesbian AF'. 

"We want to walk in the parade." Sam says. "Donna said we need to sign up with you."

"Okay. I'm assuming you four want to walk together. You can go find Jo, she'll be wearing a name tag, you will be with her." Jody points to a group of kids around Eileen and Sam's age, and the four of them walk over. 

"Are you here for the parade?" A woman, Jo as her name tag states, walks over to them. 

"Yeah, we are." Sam nods. 

"Great! We have a spectrum of color now! Three bisexuals, a gay, an ace, a lesbian! Look at us!" Jo cheers, and Eileen laughs. 

"Parade is starting!" Someone shouts. 

"Alright! C'mon everyone!" Jo motions for the rest of the group to follow, and Dean grabs Cas's hand excitedly. He hadn't felt this proud and open ever. 

Next to them, Eileen takes Sam's hand. 

"Thanks for doing this with me." Eileen says to Sam. 

"Of course." Sam replies, half signing, half speaking. 

The four of them, their 'spectrum of color' as Jo put it, started walking proudly down the street, waving and cheering and laughing, out and proud of who they are. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HOPE YOU LIKED IT!!!! 
> 
> thanks for reading, and please leave kudos.


	10. Popular

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Highschool AU.   
> Dean is the popular kid, and Cas is the quiet nerdy kid.

Cas dropped his books on the cafeteria table, and slumped down next to Charlie.

"I hate math." Cas groans as he thumps his head on the table.

"Was Dean not there?" Charlie asks sympathetically. Cas groans again. 

"I regret ever telling you anything." 

"Yes, but then who would you talk to when Dean accidentally touches your finger as you offer him a pen?" Charlie smirks. 

"I hate you."

"You love me." Charlie pauses. "But not as much as you love Dean."

"Shuddup." I mumble. Charlie laughs, before graciously changing the subject away from Dean Winchester.

***

Later, he and Charlie were walking back to Charlie's house to work on math, since was Cas to be fixating on the fact that Dean Winchester was _not_ there, and suddenly math was a lot more boring, and Cas missed the whole lesson, so Charlie said she'd teach him.

"Was Dean in your computer science class?" Both Charlie and Cas have two classes with Dean, and Cas always asks for updates on Dean. (No he is not obsessed with Dean.)

(Okay, he's a little obsessed with Dean.)

"He wasn't. Maybe he's sick."

"Maybe."

Cas honestly didn't know why he cared. It wasn't like he and Dean were best friends. The only time they've ever talked was when they were paired up for a biology project last year. 

They went over to Dean's house, and actually were getting along rather nicely. 

But the day after they turned the project in, Dean stopped talking to him. 

It was like Cas never even existed in Dean's books. 

And it hurt, but Cas couldn't help it. He fell. Hard. 

So now he spends his class periods staring at Dean Winchester, knowing that nothing will ever come of it. 

He mistakenly told Charlie one day, and she will either tease him mercilessly, or order pizza and ice cream and let him rant.

Most times its the teasing though. Cas either falls in love, or hates most of humanity. There's no in between. 

Charlie unlocks her front door and they walk up to Charlie's room, and Cas starts laying out his books out, and Charlie opens her own book. 

"Okay, what do you know about systems of equations?" Charlie asks, pulling her pencil out from where it was holding her bun up. 

"PEMDAS." Cas answers confidentially. Charlie exhales through her teeth, before going over it. 

***

Cas leaves as it starts getting dark. 

He hates walking in the dark, but he had to finish the Doctor Who episode, so now he's walking back in the dark. 

Cas reaches in his pockets for his headphones while crossing the street. He stops halfway, since they're tangled in his zipper, as he hears an engine, and headlights flood the darkened street. 

_Fuck fuck fuck_

The car screeches to a halt, right as Cas gets his wits about him and scrambles to the side. 

"Fuck, I'm so sorr- Dean?" Cas straightens as Dean gets out of the car. 

"Cas?" Cas crosses his arms, ignoring the blush rising to his cheeks at the use of his nickname.

"Oh, so you do know my name." Cas crosses his arms, and glares at Dean, squinting from the bright headlights. 

"What do you- oh. Yeah."

"Yeah!" Cas exclaims. "Oh! It's me, Castiel, we were friends for three days before you never spoke to me again." 

"I never wanted to... Cas I'm sorry." 

"Sorry about what?" Cas drops his arms, and looks at Dean. 

"I didn't want to ghost you like that. My father, he- he doesn't approve of me having gay friends." In the headlights, I can see a faint blush on Dean's cheeks, and I look down at my shoes. 

"Oh."

"No, Cas it's not like that. My father is super homophobic, and he disapproves of me having any male friendships because he wants to pretend that _I'm_ not bisexual. It was never you, Cas." Dean moves forward and grabs Cas's hands. "I am so sorry, Cas, I should've told you, but I didn't want word to get back to my father and I-"

Cas stood up on his tiptoes and kisses Dean. He knew it was probably futile, he knew he shouldn't get his hopes up, when Dean starts kissing his back, bringing his hands up to cup Cas's cheeks. 

"I thought you would hate me?" Dean asks in amazement.

"I could never hate you, Dean Winchester." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, that felt so much longer than it actually was
> 
> also sorry that took so long (it was only three days, but it felt like a long time.)
> 
> please leave kudos and comments!!!
> 
> xx


	11. Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angsttttttttttt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> takes place mid s13

Cas pulled into his parking spot in the garage, and pulls out the groceries he bought as he walked up to his and Dean's apartment. 

"Dean!" Cas says. "I'm home."

"Cas. Did you get food?" Dean kisses Cas on the cheek and helps him bring the groceries into the kitchen. 

"Everything on your list. What time is Sam coming over?" Cas asks, putting away the food. 

Dean sits down at the counter. "In about an hour. I'll start cooking in five. How was your hunt?" Cas turns around and leans against the counter and smiles at Dean. 

"It was a hunt. Three vampires, but I handled them."

"Course you did." Dean grins proudly at Cas, who blushes. Dean slides of the chair and walks into the kitchen and wraps his arms around Cas's waist. Cas presses himself into Dean. 

"I missed you." Cas murmurs. 

"I missed you, too." Dean presses his face in Cas's hair, inhaling deeply. "You're never allowed to leave for that long again."

"Dean, I wasn't gone that long," Cas laughs. 

"It was two weeks." Dean whines. 

"Aww, poor baby." Cas teases, and turns around in Dean's arms, and kisses him deeply. "You need to start cooking." 

Dean pouts. "We were having a moment."

"We can have more moments later." Cas winks, and untangles himself from Dean's arms. "I'm going to start cleaning up. You're a disaster, you know." Dean laughs. 

"Thanks, Cas."

"Anytime." 

Dean fiddles with the speakers for a moment before AC/DC comes blasting out. Dean turns it down, so they don't get noise complaints again, and the two start preparing for Sam, who they hadn't seen in about three months.

***

The doorbell rings and Cas opens the door. 

"Cas!" Sam says, the relief evident in his voice. "You're here!"

"Your brother is here too!" Dean shouts, coming over Sam and Cas wearing an apron that Cas bought him as a gag gift. 

"Nice apron, Dean," Sam laughs, and the three men walk into Cas and Dean's apartment, where Cas had set the table, and Dean had made homemade burgers and fries, like the crappy motel food they all used to eat, but gourmet. 

Dean serves the plates and they all dive in, joking and laughing like they always do. 

***

Dean gets up to get refills, and Sam urgently turns to Cas.

"Cas, you have to believe me. This is a djinn dream. None of this is real."

Cas turns to face Sam, tears glistening in his eyes. 

"I know."

"Wait- you know? Why haven't you broken yourself out of it yet? It's been three days, Cas, everyone is so worried." 

"I, I like it here." Cas glances back at Dean, humming softly as he makes drinks and prepares the dessert. 

"Is it because of Dean?" Sam asks. Cas hangs his head, and nods, red filling his cheeks. 

"I'm sorry, Sam. I don't want to leave."

"What? Cas, you have too."

"After this? After knowing whats its like to be happy, I can't be in a world, watching Dean flirt with everyone but me, watching him take home girls, guys, knowing it will never be me. Tell Dean I'm sorry. But I have to stay."

"Cas..." Sam trails off. "Dean won't like this."

"Dean doesn't care." Cas answers coldly, wiping his own tears away as Dean comes back in.

"I made pie!" Dean exclaims, grinning proudly. 

Cas leans over and kisses Dean on the cheek, sparing a glance at Sam who frowns for a bit, but hides it when Dean looks over.

"Dig in." Dean takes Cas's hand under the table, and Cas couldn't help but wish this were real, that Dean did love him, and not just in a half concocted fever dream. 

***

Sam nicked a knife as he had left Dean and Cas's house.   
  
Cas wanted to stay. He chose a dream version of Dean, thinking that Dean never loved him. Sam knew his brother better than anyone, he knew that Den loved Cas, but Cas wouldn't believe it unless Dean said it himself.   
  
Sam was right in thinking that Dean should've come in himself. Everyone knew Cas and Dean had a more 'profound bond', it wasn't that big of a stretch to say that they were in love.   
  
Sam went into a back alley, and stabbed himself in the stomach to wake up. Dean is going to go mad when he realizes Cas chose a dream over his family. As a loyal brother, Sam wouldn't tell Dean what Cas's djinn dream was, unless Cas decided to tell Dean himself. 

Sam felt the blood dripping out of his body as he slowly woke up on a table, Rowena standing over him. 

"How did it go?" She asks. 

"Where's Cas? Did he wake up?" Dean stands up, a frantic look in his eyes. 

"He, he wanted to stay." The light slowly bleeds out of Dean's eyes. 

"He what?"

"He wanted to stay, Cas wanted to stay. He said his dream life was better than his real life." Sam admits. Dean falls back into a chair.

"I can't loose him. Send me in."

"But, dearie, the spell won't be as powerful, you won't have as long to convince him."

"I don't care. Send me in." Sam gets off the table, feeling slightly dizzy, but otherwise fine after stabbing himself in the stomach.

Dean gets on the table and lays down, closing his eyes. 

"Dean, he's on the fifteenth floor. Apartment eighteen, but I guess you don't need that. Oh, and Dean?"

"Yeah, Sammy?"

"Be nice." 

Dean had no time to ponder what Sam's words meant as Rowena sent him into his dream self's body. 

***

Dean shoots up, looking around wildly. 

It's night, he's in a double bed with... 

"Cas? What are you doing here?"

"What I've been doing for the past five years, Dean." Cas mumbles sleepily. 

_Five years. Cas has been here for five years._

"No, Cas, it's me. Dean Dean." Dean gets out of the bed and looks around for a shirt. 

Meanwhile, Cas sits straight up. 

"Fuck!" Cas cries, before blushing. "I had hoped you would leave it." Cas admits.

Dean digs around in a shirt drawer, trying not to let Cas's words impact him, when he notices a ring. 

"You got married?" Dean demands, spinning around. 

"Well, _we_ got married." Cas says, twisting his own wedding ring around his finger, smiling softly. 

"This is why you stayed." Dean says, understanding dawning in his eyes. Cas nods, tears filling his eyes. 

"I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't want to leave you and Sam, but here? Well, lets just say, I couldn't have it anywhere else."

"Cas, what are you talking about?"

"It's pretty obvious, Dean. I _love_ you!" Cas cries, tears falling from his eyes. "And I know you don't feel the same. _That's_ why I stayed. It was selfish of me."

Dean moves back to his side of the bed and takes Cas's hands. 

Cas flinches, but Dean doesn't let go. 

"When Sam said you chose to stay, I couldn't believe it." Dean starts. "Our lives aren't perfect, that's not to hard to figure out, but at least we were all together, you know. The three of us. You, me and Sam. But you chose this dream life over us. And I felt my heart breaking, because I didn't know where you were, and you chose to die rather than be with us. And I couldn't live with that. Cas, I-" Dean paused and lets go of Cas's hand for a moment to wipe his tears away. "Cas, I love you. Please, please, come back. I can't live without you, I don't _want_ to live without you." 

"You, you mean that? You aren't just saying that?" The pain on Cas's face was too much, and Dean moved in and pressed his lips to Cas's, soft and sweet. 

"Come home, Cas."

"I will."

***

Cas hated watching Dean kill himself. 

He knew it was fake, he knew Dean would find him, but it looked so real. 

Cas grabbed the blade with shaking hands and stabbed himself in stomach, praying that Dean would be there when he got out.

***

Cas blinks softly, and stifles a cry of pain. Everything hurt. 

He felt so weak, like a small gust of wind could blow him away. 

In the background he registers sounds of fighting, of gunshots, but he was drifting in and out of consciousness.

Cas felt a hand on his cheek. 

"Cas, hey, stay with me. Please, Cas, stay with me." 

Dean. 

Dean was here. 

"I love you." Cas mumbles as Dean helps him into the back of the Impala.

"I love you too, Cas." Dean whispers back as Sam drives them back to the Bunker, where Rowena can probably heal him. 

***

Dean doesn't remember much about the drive home. He tried to keep Cas awake, keep him from slipping away entirely.

Sam helped Cas inside, where Rowena put some ingredients in a bowl, said some words in Latin, and Dean watched as color filled Cas's cheeks. 

Dean breaths a sigh of relief and everyone files out, except for Dean, who sits on the edge of Cas's bed, holding his hand, and whispering for Cas to come back to him. 

***

Cas woke up four hours later. Dean was fast asleep in the chair, still holding loosely to Cas's hand. 

"Dean." Cas croaks.

Dean shoots up. "Cas, you're awake." Dean moves onto the bed and wraps Cas in a hug. 

"You are never allowed to leave again." Dean murmurs.

"I don't have a need too. Everything I want is right here." Cas smiles into Dean's shoulder, feeling at home for the first time in millennia. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awww look cute ending!!
> 
> hope youre liking these so far!!!
> 
> kudos and comments greatly appreciated!
> 
> xx


	12. Ignore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guys, if you havent noticed im not good at summaries

Cas had always been able to tell what was wrong with Dean. 

He always claimed it was because of their 'profound bond' but in reality it was because he knew Dean. Cas pulled him out of Hell, that really breaks the ice. 

But the past couple weeks, Dean has been avoiding him, and Cas has no idea what's wrong. 

***

Dean was in love with Cas.

He was in love with Cas. 

Dean was in love with his best friend and he had no idea what to do. 

Normally, he'd talk to Cas, but not about this. 

He couldn't risk it. 

Dean couldn't loose Cas's friendship, it meant too much to him. 

But Sam was starting to suspect that something was up. 

And Dean hated lying to his little brother. 

And his best friend. 

But he wasn't risking his best friend leaving him again, he didn't know if he couldn't handle it. 

***

Of course Sam noticed. He wasn't blind. 

Every time Cas walked into a room, Dean walked out. 

Dean would walk into a room, Cas would stand up, ready to talk, and Dean would leave, barely glancing at him. 

Dean volunteers for every hunt, jumping at any chance to get out of the bunker, to get away from Cas.

They used to be best friends, now Dean won't even look at Cas. 

But Cas doesn't stop staring at Dean, at least whenever he thinks no one is looking.

Longing gazes as Dean walked out a room, looks of heartbreak whenever Dean cut him off. 

It hurt Sam, watching Dean and Cas not-quite-dance around each other. 

Sam was willing to do a lot to get his family back to normal, even locking Dean and Cas in Dean's room so they can get past their problems.

***

"What did you want to show me, Sam?" Cas asks, walking into Dean's room. 

Sam shut and locked the door to the outraged cries of both Dean and Cas. 

"Sammy, what the hell?" Dean asks, pounding on the door. 

"You two need to talk! I don't care what it's about, but its driving me up the wall! Figure out, and hopefully you'll get let out before dinner." Dean pounds on the door as Sam walks away, hoping that they talk about it before Sam looses his mind. 

***

Cas turns to Dean, who crosses his arms and stares at his best friend. 

"Have I done anything, Dean?" Cas asks, tilting his head and staring at Dean with a mix of hurt and confusion.

Dean curses internally, feeling terrible for ignoring Cas. 

"No, I'm not mad. Not at you, at least." Dean sits down on his bed and drops his head in his hands. 

"What's wrong, Dean? You used to tell me, now you don't even look at me. I don't know what I did to you, but whatever it was, I'm sorry. Dean, I'm sorry." Cas says desperately, tears pricking in his cobalt blue eyes. 

"Cas, it's not you, it's me." Dean nearly laughs at the break up line. "I promise it's me."

"What is it?" Cas sits down next to Dean, and puts his hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean flinches away, and Cas puts his hands in his lap. 

"Cas, I-" Dean shuts his mouth. He knew he should say something, but he was terrified. "Do you remember when we met?" Dean says, changing the topic. Cas nods. "You came in, sparks flying, and after two sentences, managed to read me better than anyone ever had. And it didn't stop there. You always knew just what to say, whether I needed words of wisdom, something to comfort me, or just distract me. And instead of being grateful that you were my closest friend. I sent you away so many times, and each time you forgave me without question. And... and each time I watched you leave, it hurt so much. It felt like my heart was breaking. I finally realized what it was." 

Dean took a breath, looking down at his lap. He tentatively reaches out and grabs Cas's hand. "Cas, I love you. I love you so much it hurts, and I didn't want to tell you in case you didn't feel the same, and I didn't want to loose you permanently this time." 

"You wouldn't loose me." Cas says, tightening his hold on Dean's hand. "Dean, I love you too." 

Dean finally looks up and meets Cas's eyes. Tears were spilling down his face and he was smiling widely. 

"You do?" Dean leans forward and kisses Cas, slow at first, but it quickly speeds up and Dean wraps on arm around Cas's waist, pulling the angel closer. 

Cas raises one hand, placing it lightly on Dean's cheek, resting his forehead on Dean's. 

"I never thought this would happen." Cas murmurs. 

"Me either."

The two laugh and move closer, crying and laughing and kissing and hugging. 

***

Sam unlocks the door around ten. He steps in to make sure that they didn't kill each other, and does a double take. 

Cas has his arm thrown over Dean, his face nuzzled in Dean's neck. 

Sam laughs softly. 

"I knew it." He whispers, shutting the door and leaving the two lovebirds to their sleeping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that was super cuteeee i loved itttt
> 
> sorry i suck at kissing scenes 
> 
> leave kudos and comments 
> 
> xx


	13. Diner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam, Dean, and Cas are on a hunt, and they stop at a diner for dinner

"What about a werewolf?" Dean suggests as he sits down in a booth at the diner. Cas slides in next to him, and Sam sits across from the two, eyeing them strangely. 

"No, it's not a full moon."

Dean groans and drops his head on the table. "Ow." He says a moment later. 

"So, what could it be?" Cas asks. 

"I don't know. We might have to split up-" Sam cuts himself off as the waiter comes over to them. 

"Hi! Welcome to Sunshine Diner, what can I get you?"

Dean sits up. "What pies do you have?"

The lady rattles of nearly 15 pies, and Dean feels like he's in heaven. 

"I'll have a slice of apple, a slice of pecan, and a side of fries." Dean orders. Sam rolls his eyes. 

The waiter smiles. "Excellent choices. And for you two?"

"I'll have the Caesar salad." Sam says. 

"I'm good." Cas says. 

The lady jots down their orders and heads to the kitchen. 

"Two slices of pie? Really, Dean?"

"You can't judge, you ordered rabbit food." Sam rolls his eyes again. 

"Okay, so I was thinking we split up, two of us go back to the bunker to go through the files, and the other one stays here to interview, and see if anything else comes up." Sam explains. 

"Cas and I can go to the bunker." Dean volunteers. Cas nods, and Sam rolls his eyes for the third time that night. (And it probably wouldn't be the last.)

"Okay, good." 

Cas's phone starts ringing, and he pulls it out. "It's Claire. I'll be right back." 

Sam waits until Cas is out of earshot. "Okay, cut the bullshit."

"Wait, what?"

"You're in love with him. With Cas."

"Wha- no I'm not."

"Dean, what did I just say? Cut the bullshit." Dean sighs. 

"Fine. I love him. Is that what you want me to say?" Dean exclaims. 

"Yes, actually. He loves you back. Do something about it." Sam says. 

"Wait, how do you know? Has he told you anything?" Dean asks. 

"No, but I'm not blind, Dean." Sam gives him his best bitch-face and Dean sighs, risking a look behind him to where Cas was standing outside, talking on the phone. 

Cas meets Dean's eyes, and waves. Dean blushes and waves back. 

He turns back to Sam. 

"Talk to him." Sam urges, right as their food comes. 

Dean rubs his hands together and smiles eagerly. "After this. I'll do it after this."

Cas slides back into the booth and steals one of Dean's fries. 

Sam rolls his eyes and stabs at his salad. 

"Hey, Cas, could we talk?" Dean asks. 

Cas steals another one of Dean's fries, and nods. 

"Of course."

"Let's go outside."

Cas gets up again, and Dean follows him outside.

He turns around to see Sam giving him two thumbs up. 

Dean blushes and shuts the diner door behind him. 

Outside, a cool breeze blows through the air, ruffling Cas's midnight black hair. 

"So, what is it you needed to talk to me about?" Cas asks, stuffing his hands in his pockets. 

"I, um. There's something I need to tell you." Dean stops. 

Should he do this? Does Cas even feel the same? What if he doesn't? What if he looses Cas? 

"Dean?" Cas asks, his normally bright blue eyes dark in the starlight. 

"I'm in love with you." Dean confesses. "I've been in love with you since Purgatory, since I thought I almost lost you."

"Dean..."

"I know you don't feel the same, angels probably can't even love like that but-" Cas pulls Dean closer to him and kisses him softly. 

"I feel the same." Cas murmurs. 

"Oh, okay, good, good." Dean says nervously. Cas smiles at him, and Dean grins back. 

"I never thought this could happen." Dean says. Cas kisses Dean again, and interlaces their fingers.

"Let's go back inside." Cas says. Dean nods, his brain still not fully functioning.

They walk back in, and sit down. 

Sam smiles. "So are you two still good to drive back to the bunker?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im very sorry that took so long!!!!!
> 
> but it's here now, and i hope you liked it!!
> 
> if you did, please leave kudos and comments!!! 
> 
> much love 
> 
> xx


	14. Murder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas have to go undercover to solve a vamp murderer. 
> 
> Unfortunately, they have to infiltrate a prestigious ball, and Cas can't dance for the life of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got this word and i was sooo excited so i hope you like this one!!!

"So get this, our vamps are going to be at the Annual Charity Ball." Sam flips his computer to show Dean. 

"Great. So, we'll sneak in, behead the sons of a bitches, and be done." 

"Not going to be that easy. Apparently, since people are turning up dead everywhere, they hired the police to stand guard, to make sure that no one can sneak in." Sam says, scrolling down on the computer. "Plus, the vamps have already seen my face. They know who I am, which means you and Cas are going to have to go in."

"Okay. Two friends can go." Dean says, unconvinced. Sam rolls his eyes. 

"Yes, Dean. Though, you and Cas both need to learn how to dance."

"Wait, what? Can we not just do what with did with Hookman, and Bela?"

"You guys pretended to be a couple, and danced. Yes, this is exactly what you are going to do." Sam replies. "The only tickets I could find that resemble, mostly, you and Cas are addressed to a married couple. Thomas and Alexander Barron. You're going to pretend to be them. That means acting like you're in love with Cas, because we need to find this vamp." 

"Fine. I know how to dance. I'll teach Cas when he gets back from his food run." Dean grumbles. "And he better get back soon, I want a burger." 

***

"Okay, your hands go here." Dean lifts Cas's hands and places them on his shoulder. Dean puts one hand on Cas's shoulder, and the other on his hip, blushing. 

Dean leads, side stepping. Cas follows, less gracefully, tripping over his feet, and accidentally stepping on Dean's. 

"Sorry, Dean, I'm not as good as you are." Dean blushes harder. 

"I'm not that good." He mumbles. 

"How'd you learn how to dance?" Cas asks, as they move clumsily around the motel room. 

"Sam was in ninth grade. He wanted to take this girl to Homecoming, and so I learned how to ballroom dance to teach him. But Sam never got to go, Dad picked us up the night before the homecoming." 

"Oh." Cas says, and looks down at his.

"Hey, eyes on me." Dean tilts Cas's head up, and meets his eyes. 

Dean's breath leaves him, and he blinks a bit, before putting his hand back on Cas's shoulder. 

They dance for a bit longer, before Dean calls it. 

"You should be good for tonight." Dean says. "I'm taking a nap." Dean falls face first on his bed, already asleep. 

***

"Remember, you're Thomas Barron. You've been married to me, Alexander Barron, for ten years. Got it?" Dean asks while fixing Cas's bow-tie. 

Cas nods, meeting Dean's eyes.

"Alright, you two. I'll be in the car, waiting for Dean's text." Sam walks into the room, holding his computer. Dean moves away from Cas, and clasps his hands in front of him. 

"We ready to go then?" Dean asks. Cas nods, and they all get into the car.

Dean hands Sam the keys when they get there. Dean and Cas get out, Dean holding their tickets. 

As they walk to the front door, Cas slides his hand in to Dean's. Dean blushes, loving the feeling of Cas's hand inside of his. 

"I hope this is okay. I figured it would look better." Cas murmurs. Dean nods, unable to form words. 

Dean shows their tickets and they walk into the house, classical music playing in the background.

"Ah! Mr. and Mr. Barron, it's so lovely to finally meet you!" A lady in a shimmering teal dress walks over to them and eagerly shakes both of their hands. Dean smiles.

''Lovely to meet you as well." Dean says, ever the charmer.

The lady blushes, and Cas feels a surge of jealousy roar through him. 

***

"C'mon, Cas, we should dance." Dean holds out his hand, and Cas takes it, both men blushing. 

They spin around the dance floor, Dean looking everywhere except at Cas. 

And Cas knew it was hopeless to fall for Dean Winchester, but he didn't really have a choice in the matter. He stared at Dean, green eyes sparkling in the lighting. Dean turns back to face Cas, and Cas looked down at his feet, tripping a bit.

"Follow my lead." Dean whispers, and twirls Cas, moving them along, Cas barely keeping up. 

Dean twirls Cas one more time, before dipping him, both men breathing hard, and Dean presses his lips to Cas's. Cas melts into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Dean. Dean lifts them both up. 

He finally meets Cas's eyes. 

"I've been wanting to do that for a while." Dean breathes. Cas nods, before noticing that the music has stopped and everyone's staring at them. 

"S-sorry." Cas stutters. He grabs Dean's hand again, and pulls him out of the room. 

"What was that for?" Cas asks, once they were out of earshot. 

"I couldn't see everyone from where we were standing, and so I asked you to dance. Plus, there were this man and this woman, they were watching us. Speeding us up, gave them the change to escape, and dipping you meant I could see where they were going. Kissing you wasn't part of the plan." Dean blushes, and Cas grins. 

"Well, it was my favorite part of the plan." Cas kisses Dean's cheek. "Now where did the vamps go. I'll text Sam."

"They headed out back. I'm pretty sure there's a garage, or a shed, that could be where they went." Cas texts Sam, and then he and Dean head out back. Cas's angel blade falls from his sleeve, and Dean pulls a knife out of his jacket pocket. 

They burst into the back shed, knives raised. 

In the back, two vampires feed on a girl. 

"Hey!" Dean shouts. "Next time you want to go on a murder spree, don't leave your bodies everywhere!" Dean races forward and beheads on vamp, and the other vamp runs at Cas, and he stabs him in the chest. 

Sam comes in a moment later. 

"Oh. That was easy." He says. 

"Yeah. It's a miracle the police didn't find it." Dean comments. 

"Yeah. Now, let's get out of here before someone finds these two." Sam says. He tosses Dean the keys, and the three of them get in the car, Sam looking between the two, before sitting in the backseat, giving Cas shotgun. 

***

Nobody talks the entire car ride back to the bunker. Both Cas and Dean steal glances at each other, and Sam sighs, before shutting his eyes, ignoring the two idiots in the front seat. 

"Cas, can we, can we talk?" Dean asks after they had put their stuff away. 

"Of course, Dean."

Dean leans against the hallway wall, Cas standing across from him, and tries to form the words he's been meaning to say. 

"I've never been very good at dealing with my feelings. Dad never allowed me to be a kid, I always had to be the responsible one, the mature one. I wasn't allowed to have a meltdown in the candy aisle, or whine about not getting what I wanted for Christmas. Instead I gave that to Sammy, he deserved it more than I did."

"Dean..." Cas trails off. 

"I know, I know. But I'm not a kid anymore. I'm allowed to want for things, and right now, there's only one thing I want." Dean pushes himself off the wall and presses his lips to Cas's. Cas pushes back, and Dean hits the wall again, groaning in Cas's mouth. 

"You deserve the world, Dean." Cas breathes, resting his forehead against Dean's. 

"I don't want the world, I want you." Dean responds, grabbing Cas's hand. 

"You can have me, Dean. You've always had me." 

Dean bites his lip and smiles, taking Cas's hand. 

"I love you, Dean."

"I love you, too." 

Cas kisses Dean again, and Dean kisses back, feeling light than he had in a very long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, i'm very sorry that took so long. 
> 
> apparently trying to do two oneshots a day is very difficult. 
> 
> but this one was so fun to write!!!
> 
> please leave kudos and comments!!
> 
> xx


	15. Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tangled AU

Cas knew he might not have enough time. Dean might already be gone, taken away from him by his abusive, not quite a father, John. 

Cas hauled himself up the run down, vine covered tower, his fingers catching on stones. 

A few times his foot would slip and he nearly plummeted to his death, but the thought of Dean, hurt, alone, in trouble, kept him going. 

He finally reached the ledge and pulled himself into the dimly lit tower. 

As his eyes adjusted, he saw Dean sitting in the corner, his hands and legs bound and a gag in his mouth. 

Tears glistened in his green eyes as he cried out, a muffled call for Cas to run when a sharp pain shoots through his body and Cas falls to the floor, blood pooling out of his stomach and onto the cold stone floor. 

***

Dean yells, as loudly as he can with the gag on as Cas falls to the floor, either on unconscious or dead. 

"C'mon, son, it's time to go." John wipes his knife on the rug and picks up the chains keeping Dean from running to Cas. 

As John pulls on the rope, Dean struggles, throwing his body towards Cas, who was getting paler by the minute. 

"Stop fighting, dammit!" 

"NO!" Dean says as the gag finally loosens. " I won't stop. For every minute of the rest of my life I will fight. I will never stop trying to get away from you. But, if you let me save him... I will go with you." 

"No," Cas coughs. Dean whips his head around. "No, Dean..."

"I'll never run, I'll never try to escape. Just let me heal him. And you and I will be together. Forever, just like you want. Everything will be the way it was. I promise. Just like you want. Just let me heal him." Dean bargains, tears sliding down his face. 

John sighs, and grabs Dean's chains, and unties Dean, and puts the manacles around Cas's wrists. 

"Just in case you get any ideas about escaping." John sneers. 

Dean runs over to Cas, tripping over his hair as he falls next to him. 

"Cas. Oh, I'm so sorry. Everything is going to okay, though." Dean says through tears. 

"No, Dean," 

"I promise, you have to trust me." Dean reassures. 

"I can't let you do this." Cas says. 

"But I can't let you die." Dean says, placing a hand on Cas's cheek. 

"But if you do this-" Dean shushes him, but Cas keeps talking, tears streaming down his face now as well. "You'll die as well."

"Hey. It's going to be alright." Dean bunches his hair on the wound.

"Dean, wait." 

With the last bit of Cas's strength, he grabs a shard of mirror, pushes himself off the floor, and slices Dean's hair. 

John starts screaming, the last of his strength decreases as he ages rapidly. 

He shuts his eyes, his wails echoing through the tower as he moves. 

Cas tugs on Dean's hair, causing John to trip, stumble and fall out the tower window. 

"Father!" Dean shouts, reaching his hand out, but he quickly turns back to Cas. 

"No, no, no, no, Cas. Look at me, look at me. Don't go, Cas, stay with me." 

Sobs wrack Dean's body, as he starts singing. 

" _Flower, gleam and glow, let your power shine, make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine..."_

"Dean..." 

"What?" Dean asks.

"You were my new dream." Cas says weakly. 

Dean bows his head, tears falling hot and face. 

Cas's hand goes limp, and Dean tries again, unwilling to let Cas go. 

He can't loose Cas, he just found him.

" _Heal what has been hurt... change the Fate's design... save what has been lost... bring back what once was mine..._ " Dean breaks down, laying his head on Cas's chest. " _What once was..._ mine."

Dean's tears fall on Cas's face, on his wound... and start glowing. 

Flowers bloom from the fallen tears, sending golden spirals throughout the tower. 

Dean looks around as his tower is bathed in a bright golden light. 

Soon, the glow fades, and Dean turns his attention back to Cas, who's eyes are slowly opening. 

"C-Cas?" Dean asks hopefully. Cas's eyes open fully, and he meets Dean's eyes. 

"Did I ever tell you I prefer brunettes?" Cas teases, and Dean throws his arms round him, burying his face in Cas's neck. 

Cas presses a kiss to Dean's cheek, and Dean smiles and murmurs in Cas's ear. 

"You're my dream too. And I'm not letting you leave that easily." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two updates in a day to make up for the like two week no updates!!!!!
> 
> (and yes, i know that isn't how that scene goes, but i liked it, so there)
> 
> yay!!!!!
> 
> please leave kudos and comments, it means a lot to me!!!!!
> 
> thanks for reading!!!!
> 
> xx


	16. Motivation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is hella depressed after Cas confesses his love and dies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spoilers for 15.18 and up

**Day 1**

Dean couldn't move. 

Tears fell down his eyes, and he rakes his hands through his hair, one thought running through his head, over and over and over. 

_I love you I love you I love you I love you_

_And I'll get you back._

**Day 5**

"See, that's not who I am. That's not who we are." Dean says, words echoing in his brain. 

But, Dean holds it together, for Sammy, for Jack, and for Chuck, lying on the ground defeated. 

Dean refused to let Chuck win, refused to let Chuck see that Dean was too broken to go on living. 

**Day 10**

"Dean, you need to go to sleep." Sam walks in, hair ruffled from sleep. "It's one in the morning."

"I'll go to sleep in a bit." Dean replies, taking a drink of his coffee. 

"Dean, this isn't healthy. You don't sleep, you don't eat. You just sit here and read." Sam says. "We'll get him back, Dean, we'll get Ca-"

"Don't say his name!" Dean exclaims, tears pricking at his eyes. "Just... don't." 

Sam sighs, and goes back to his room. 

Dean rests his head in his hands, and starts crying. 

**Day 17**

"I can't find anything!" Dean shouts, pushing the books off the table. 

"Dean, calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down!" Dean refuses to let himself cry, not in front of Sam and Eileen, he won't. 

'Dean, we'll get him.' Eileen signs. 

"It's been two weeks! We haven't found anything! He's gone, Sam, he's gone." Dean slams his fists on the table, before storming out of the room. 

**Day 21**

Dean hasn't moved in three days. He's locked himself in his room, with more bottles of liquor than any one man should drink, and is moving through them at an unhealthy pace. 

Both Sam and Eileen have stopped by the door to give updates, but it's all nothing. 

It's not worth it. 

Cas is gone. 

And there's nothing Dean can do about it. 

**Day 26**

"Jack. I wouldn't be asking if it wasn't important, but can you bring Cas back. I know you said you wouldn't be hands on, and I respect that, I do, but it's Dean. He's lost it. He doesn't have the motivation to do anything. Something happened when Cas died, it broke Dean, so please, Jack, can you bring him back." Sam prays.

There's nothing, no telltale wing-beats, no silent fade in, not even a snap of the fingers. 

Sam hangs his head. He doesn't know what to do. 

It's like he lost both Cas _and_ Dean.

"Sam." Eileen walks up to him, and lays a hand on his shoulder. "Come on. You need sleep."

"I don't know what to do, Eileen." Sam turns to face her. "Dean won't leave his room unless it's to get the occasional piece of food. He's a ghost, won't talk, won't acknowledge me, just drinks. I can hear him, late at night,when he thinks everyone's asleep. He prays to Cas, to Jack, to anyone who will listen. I want to help, but I don't know how." 

Eileen rubs his back. "We'll find something. We have too."

**Day 34**

"Dean, I found a case. An old werewolf case of Dad's. Eileen's out on a supply run, please come with me." Sam begs. 

Silence, then the door creaks open. 

Dean's wearing the shirt he was wearing five days ago, and it looks like he hasn't shaved in over two weeks. 

Dean manages a half hearted grin. "Wheels up in ten, Sammy." 

**Day 35**

They drove for a day an a half, the same thirteen songs playing on repeat, as Dean tries to hold it together. 

"Dean, what happened? That day when Ca- when he died?" Sam asks, breaking the silence as they near the town. 

Dean's grip tightens on the wheel, and his gaze turns steely. "I don't want to talk about it." 

"You need to talk about it, Dean, it's not healthy."

"Since when have I been the pinnacle of health." Dean jokes, his knuckles white. 

Sam notices, and stops talking, letting his brother sit in silence, Led Zeppelin playing in the background. 

***

They're in a barn. 

Dean flashes back to another barn, in another time, before shaking his head, pushing down the memories. 

Four werewolves stand in front of them, teeth bared. 

Dean tightens his grip on his knife, and runs at the wolves. 

He manages to stab on in the chest, killing it almost instantaneously. 

Dean looks over at Sam, who had managed to slice a now bleeding out werewolf, and was working on the other one. Dean moves back to fighting the first werewolf, and the werewolf shoves him. Dean nearly falls into a pole, a metal bar sticking out of it. 

Dean's gaze lingers on it, before he runs at the werewolf. 

The werewolf, way bigger than Dean, overpowers him, and shoves him into the pole. 

Pain slices through him, hot, blood pouring out of his stomach. 

Sam comes up from behind him and stabs the werewolf in the stomach. 

Dean smiles weakly at Sam. 

"Let's clean up the bodies, and get out of here."

Dean presses a hand to his stomach. 

"I... I don't think I'm leaving here, Sammy." Dean says. 

"What, what do you mean?" Dean shows his blood covered hand to Sam, and Sam lets out a breath. 

"No, no, no, I'll get the first aid kit, I'll call an ambulance, you'll be alright, you'll, you'll be alright." Sam stammers, moving away from to Dean. 

"Please... please stay. Stay with me, Sammy. Please, stay." Dean says, pain shooting through him with every breath he takes. 

"Okay. Okay." Sam repeats, tears glistening in his eyes. 

"Sam. Sammy. I'm sorry. This is it for me." 

"Please, no, Dean. You're going to be fine, Dean, please."

"Sammy, listen to me. No resurrections, no spells, no demon deals. This is it, Sam. Don't worry, I'll be fine." Tears slide down Dean's face. "You asked me what happened before Cas died."

"Dean, you don't need to-"

"I need to tell someone. He told me he loved me. He died before I could say something back, and this past month... Sam, I can't live without him. You have to let me go. Live a good life. Be with Eileen, be happy. I'll be alright. I'll be alright." Dean says, his strength draining quickly. 

"Dean, I don't... I don't want to do this alone. I don't want to do this without you." Sam says, tears falling down his face. 

"You won't be alone. You have Eileen, you have Jody and the girls. And I'll be there, always." Dean moves his hand and rests it on Sam's chest. "Right here."

Sam nods. 

"I love you, Sam. My little brother. My brave, strong, little brother. Live your life, Sammy. Live it to the fullest. I'll..." Dean takes a breath. "I'll see you on the other side, Sammy."

"Dean..." Sam looks at Dean with the most heartbreaking expressions, and Dean almost wants to take it all back, wants to try for his brother. 

But he knows he can't. 

He can't do this anymore. 

He knows Sam will be okay. 

"I love you." Dean says one more time, the breath leaving his body one final time. 

"Dean." 

Sam's body shakes with sobs as he shakily takes Dean's pulse. 

"I love you too, Dean." 

**Day 1**

Dean opens his eyes. 

He's in a forest, the sky bluer than it's ever been, the grass green and soft.

Dean puts a hand on his stomach, but there's no blood and no scar. 

Dean starts walking in one direction, until he comes across a wood building. 

He smiles, nostalgia threatening to overtake him. 

The Roadhouse. 

"Hello, Dean." 

Dean turns around and his stomach drops. 

"Ca-Cas." Dean splutters, a lump forming in his throat. 

He runs and hugs his best friend, tears streaming down his face. 

"You've never been to the Roadhouse, what memory is this?"

"It's not a memory, Dean." Cas says, wrapping his arms around Dean, and burrowing his his face in Dean's neck. 

"You're- you're really here?" Dean stutters, pulling away to look at his friend. Cas gives a small smile, and Dean moves forward and presses his lips to Cas's.

"I love you too, Cas. God, I love you so much." Tears fall from Cas's eyes, and Dean wipes them away. "Please don't ever leave again. I can't... I can't live without you, Cas."

"I won't. I promise, Dean, I won't leave again." Laughter bubbles up from Dean's throat, and he wraps Cas in a hug again. 

**Day 492**

"Damnit, Charlie, let us win battleship at least once!" Dean cries, as Charlie sinks his and Cas's last battleship

"Never!" Charlie cries, grinning. 

Cas sighs. 

"Stop playing games, and help me bring these in!" Cas stands up and goes to help Ellen and Jo bring food in. 

"Thank you, Cas. At least two of you five actually help." Ellen says in exasperation. 

The five in question were Cas, Dean, Charlie, Jo, and Ash, who all hung out at the Roadhouse on a daily basis. 

Kevin and his mother had a house twenty miles down, and Mary was staying close to Dean and Cas. 

"I was winning!" Charlie complains. Ellen stares at her, and she looks down at her board. 

"Can we play again?" Jo asks, sitting down next to Charlie. Charlie nods, and resets her ships. 

"Cas! Come back and help me! I'm not going to win without you!" Dean calls. Cas sighs, and frowns at Ellen, before sitting back down next to Dean. 

"I'll go first. E3." Charlie exclaims.

"Miss." 

**Day 612**

"Today?" Dean asks.

Cas nods. 

"I'll drive out to meet him. Come with me?" Dean holds out a hand, and Cas takes it. 

Dean smiles gratefully, and he gets in his car, Cas in the front seat. 

They drive down the road, until they reach a bridge. 

Dean gets out and Cas follows. They look out at the river, until Dean feels a change, and he turns around. 

"Heya, Sammy. Look who I ran into." Dean holds up Cas's hand, and Cas smiles at Sam. 

"Hi, Sam." Sam hugs Cas first, then Dean. 

"Did Jack pull you out of the Empty?" Sam asks. 

Cas nods. "First thing he did. Only problem was he had tried to make sure that angels and demons would stop interfering, and made it so angels had to stay in Heaven, and demons in Hell. He's the only one who can go between." Sam nods. 

"Is he here? Jack." 

Dean nods. "He comes around every year, and some in between, for celebrations." Dean explains. Sam grins.

"Is Eileen here?" Sam asks. Sam's wife had died a year before Sam. It had been nice reuniting with Eileen, and getting to know her better, since they only knew each other for a month or so, before Dean died. 

"She has a house near Mom's." Dean says. Sam grins. 

"Now, come on, enough questions, everyone's waiting for you!" Dean says, leading Sam to the car. "Sammy, you're backseat."

Sam groans. "Oh, so you and Cas finally get your shit together, and now I'm in the backseat." 

"Yes." Dean replies, looking at Cas. 

"Eugh, keep it PG, please, I just got here, and I would like to see my family." Dean blushes, and they all get into the car, driving to the Roadhouse, where Ellen, Jo, and Charlie had prepared a feast in honor of Sam's arrival. 

And finally, finally, Dean had everything he ever wanted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not going to lie, i cried writing dean's death
> 
> sorry for the extra sad one, i was missing writing angst, and so it all came out in this story
> 
> please leave kudos and comments!!!
> 
> xx


	17. Presents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> team free will 3.0 opens christmas presents 
> 
> happy holidays everyone!!!!!!

"Dean! Dean! Cas! Wake up!" Jack knocked on the door, well, pounded on the door, before moving to Sam and Eileen's room. "Sam! Sam! Get up! It's Christmas! There's presents!" 

Jack runs back to Dean and Cas's room, and knocks again, before moving into the kitchen to make coffee. He does it just the way Dean taught him, with the filter, and the pouring over. 

By the time he finishes with that, the four adults are up, and in the map room where their tree is currently residing. 

Jack hands them each their coffee, before sorting through presents and finding his presents to each of them. Jack gives them out to each person, before taking a seat on the floor. 

"Should we all open them at the same time, or one at a time?" 

"Same time." Jack says eagerly, but also in anticipation. 

He really hopes they like his presents. 

Dean tears into the wrapping paper, unveiling the records. 

He gasps, and hugs them close to his chest. 

"Perfect." Jack grins. 

Cas opens his book on bees and grins, before opening the mug and full on laughing. 

Sam unwraps his mug first, and shows it to Eileen, who smiles, before he unwraps a few of Rowena's spell books. 

The four of them thank Jack, and he moves through the presents, finding some presents from Jody and the girls. 

They go through them quickly, seeing as there is no 'Santa' to bring them goodies. 

***

When the festivities die down, and it's just Dean and Cas left in the room, Cas takes the mixtape out of his pocket. 

This was something that was just between him and Dean. 

"Dean, I have one more present for you." Cas says. 

Dean turns to him. 

"I thought we opened all the presents already?" Dean asks.

"We did. This one wasn't for the rest of our family to share." 

Cas hands over the wrapped mixtape, and Dean unwraps it, flipping it over and smiling. 

"You got me a mixtape." He says, awe in his voice. 

Cas nods, feeling self conscious all of a sudden. "Do you like it?" He asks. 

Dean nods. "I love it. I love you." 

Cas blushes, and Dean kisses him on the cheek. "Thank you." 

"It wasn't that hard." Cas says, humble as ever. 

Dean laughs and kisses Cas on the lips. 

***

Meanwhile, Eileen and Sam were talking in the kitchen, sipping slightly cold coffee. Jack had gone back to his temporary room to put all of his gifts away, giving Sam and Eileen a moment to talk. 

"Is the bracelet good?" Sam asks, voicing his insecurities. 

'Yes.' Eileen signs. 'I love it.' 

Sam nods, still a bit unconvinced.

"I couldn't remember what your original one looked like, the one Lilian gave you, I hope this is good." Sam continues. 

"It is. Sam, I love it." Eileen says. "Thank you." 

Sam blushes and smiles. "I'm glad."

"And I got you something too. Less meaningful, but useful." And with that, Eileen stands up and grabs a present from where it was left on the kitchen counter. "Here."

Sam opens it, and laughs. 

"A sign language book." Eileen shrugs. 

"So you can learn what thank you means." Eileen laughs, and Sam remembers their first meeting with fond amusement. 

Sam flips through the book, before finding what he was looking for. 'I love you.' Sam signs. 

'I love you too.' Eileen responds, blushing. 

"Guys! Guys! We're going to play Monopoly! Come on!" Jack calls from the map room. 

Sam and Eileen share a grin before walking into the map room where Cas and Dean were setting up Monopoly, a whole stack of board games next to them. 

"Game day!" Dean exclaims. "We're getting takeout and playing games all day."

"Sounds like a plan." Sam slides into a seat across from Cas, and Eileen sits next to him.

Dean grins, and rolls the dice, starting off game day by rolling snake eyes. He groans, and passes the dice to Cas, who rolls a seven. 

Jack rolls double fives, and Sam and Eileen both get eight. 

Jack pumps his fists in the air, and rolls again, buying Vermont Avenue. 

The game continues as the day goes by, each member of the Winchester clan winning a game at least once. 

It ended around the TV, watching Home Alone, and The Nightmare Before Christmas, and Polar Express until one by one they all dropped off to sleep, Christmas carols droning in the background, ending one of the best Christmases the team had experienced in a while. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you all have a great winter vacation, or a great holiday season!!!!
> 
> i loved writing this, and its making up for the angst that will be coming up!!!
> 
> happy holidays my darlings!!
> 
> xx


	18. Reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dean's reaction to cas's confession in 15.18

"It was Chuck all along. We shouldn't have left Sam and Jack. We should be there with them right now." Dean pauses, hating how his voice shakes. "Everybody's gonna die, Cas. Everybody. I can't stop it." Dean steps closer to Cas. "She's gonna get through that door."

"I know." Cas responds, his voice quieting.

"And she's gonna kill you, and then she's gonna kill me." Dean replies, wanting to add more, wanting to tell Cas that he can't bear to see him die again, that if Cas dies, then Dean hopes that Billie kills him too. 

Cas meets Dean's eyes, and Dean can tell that Cas thinks that it is hopeless. 

"I'm sorry." Dean says, casting his eyes towards the ground. 

Hopeless. 

Until, Dean hears Cas inhale sharply. "Wait... there is... There's one thing she's afraid of. There's one thing strong enough to stop her. When Jack was dying, I made a deal to save him." Cas confesses. 

Dean's head jerks up and he stares at Cas. 

"You what?" He demands. 

"The price was my life." Cas continues, pointedly ignoring Dean. "When I experienced a moment of true happiness, The Empty would be summoned, and it would take me forever." 

Dean feels his heart breaking. 

He would loose Cas. 

"Why are you telling me this now?" Dean asks, hoping that Cas isn't doing what he thinks Cas is doing. 

But deep down, he knew what Cas was going to do. And he didn't want that to happen.

"I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be? What my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer because the one thing I want... It's something I know I can't have. But I think I know... I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being. It's in just saying it." 

"What are you talking about, man?"

But Dean knew. Dean knew where this was going and he wanted it to stop. He wanted Cas to shut up, and not sacrifice himself for Dean because Dean didn't deserve it, and Dean selfishly didn't want to lose his best friend. Dean didn't want to loose his best friend, not again, he couldn't do it again.

"I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken. You're “daddy's blunt instrument.” And you think that hate and anger, that's... That's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you see it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world _for love_. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, _loving_ human being I will ever know." Cas pauses, tears rolling down his cheeks. Dean freezes. He can't do anything, he can't believe that this is happening. "You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell... Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack... I cared about the whole world because of _you_." Cas pauses. "You changed me, Dean."

Dean stifled a sob, tears glistening in his eyes. 

"Why does this sound like a goodbye?" Dean asks. 

"Because it is." Cas replies. 

Dean inhales. He has to say something, he has to tell Cas. 

"I love you, Dean." Cas confesses before Dean can say anything. 

"Don't do this, Cas."

_Please don't do this, Cas, I can't loose you too, I don't want to loose you too._

Dean turns around to see a portal opening, black goo spilling over the bricks, darkness sucking out the dim lighting in the room. 

Dean faces Cas to see his best friend smiling, tears falling down his cheeks. 

"Cas..." Dean trails off, not knowing what else to say. 

Cas sets his hand on Dean's shoulder, the same shoulder that Cas had held onto Dean when he pulled him out of hell. Cas pushes him out of the way, as the door bangs open and Billie storms in. 

"Goodbye, Dean." Cas looks at Dean, before facing the Empty, smiling, happier than he had ever felt. 

The Empty stretches tendrils out, sucking in Billie, before taking Cas, sucking him into the void of the Empty. 

And Dean was alone again. 

Dean gasps, tears spilling down his cheeks. 

"Cas." Dean's voice breaks. 

He can't move. Dean can't loose Cas, not again, not permanently. They were supposed to be out, he, Sam, and Cas, they were supposed to be on a beach, sipping mai tais with their toes in the sand. 

Not this. Not the whole world disappearing, not Cas being gone for good. 

Dean pushes himself up and moves a hand over the blood stain on his jacket, the only thing he has left of Cas. 

***

Dean's phone rings. 

Sam has been calling every five minutes but Dean can't make himself answer. 

He can't do anything but sit and stare into space, thinking of all the things he could've said. 

_I need you_

_I miss you_

_I want you_

_I need you_

_I need you_

"I love you, Cas." Dean whispers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i told you it would be sad. 
> 
> well, i didn't, but you got all that fluff as a warning... 
> 
> im a bit sorry, but not that much
> 
> please leave kudos and comments!!!!
> 
> xx


	19. Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sam's getting very tired of dean and cas's bullshit

Sam didn't see it at first. 

He just thought that Cas didn't understand human behavior, that Cas knew Dean better, but as time went on, as the three of them all got closer, Cas still retained his closeness to Dean, literally. 

Cas would always stand closer to Dean, always come when Dean called. 

Finally, Sam figured it out. 

Cas was in love with Dean. 

It only took a year for Sam to piece together the piece. 

Cas's intense eye contact with Dean, the way Cas always look at Dean for permission to do anything. 

And so began the long twelve years of Sam third wheeling his brother and his friend. 

***

"So what, you like him better or something?" Sam asks. 

"Dean and I do share a more profound bond." Cas answers. 

Sam resists the urge to face-palm. 

He couldn't believe he had to deal with this. 

Cas and Dean lock eyes and Sam suppresses a groan and instead just rolls his eyes. 

This was going to be a long day. 

***

"Thanks for coming, Cas." Sam says. 

"Of course, where's Dean?" Cas asks, clearly only there for Dean. 

Sam couldn't believe this. 

He finally managed to get through to Cas, but of course, Cas was only here for Dean. 

'Profound bond,' Sam's ass. 

Sam was 90% sure that Cas just made up that term as an excuse for why he was always standing right next to him. 

Right up there with 'rusty people skills'. 

Sam was so done with these two. 

***

"Wow, this Benjamin seems like he's pretty cool, you know. Like he wouldn't make any half-cocked, knee-jerk choices." Dean says. 

"Yeah, you know what I like about him? Is that he's sarcastic, but he's thoughtful and appreciative, too." Cas replies sarcastically from the backseat. 

"Now what is that supposed to mean?" Dean demands, turning around in his seat. 

"Okay, okay, the road, road. Dude, watch the road." Sam says, reaching his hand out to grab the wheel, frustration rising. 

If Cas and Dean don't get their shit together and stop bickering to hide their unbridled sexual tension, it was going to get Sam killed. 

Either from exasperation, or because Dean couldn't keep his eyes off Cas long enough to drive. 

***

"Cas is back in town." Cas smiles, a familiar, and very 'Dean' grin. 

Sam rolls his eyes. 

"Seriously, did you just- did he just say that?" Dean asks, turning to Sam, who takes a half step back and holds up his hands. 

He refused to be part of their bickering, or whatever was going on between the two. 

***

Cas walks out of the bathroom, wiping his hands on the table.

He holds his arms out, directing his gaze at Dean. "Better?" Cas asks. 

Dean nods, and out of the corner of Sam's eye, he sees Dean shift, his hand moving down. 

Sam fights the urge to throw up. 

He couldn't believe he had to deal with this alone. 

They needed a fourth member who could share Sam's frustrations. 

***

"Dean! Dean! What happened, you didn't pick u- where's Cas?" Sam races into the dungeon to see his brother sitting on the floor, shaking, his face stained with tears. 

"He's go- he's gone." Dean stammers, more tears falling down his face. 

"No..." Sam sits down next to Dean. "What happened, Dean?"

"Billie, she cornered us. Cas stopped her, but it wasn't a permanent solution. So he... he... he summoned the Empty. He had made a deal to save Jack, that the Empty would take him at his moment of true happiness." Dean paused, taking a shaky breath. "He said he loved me, Sammy. He said he loved me, and I couldn't say it back, and now he's gone, he's gone, and I'm never going to be able to tell him." Dean drops his head in his hands, looking more vulnerable and broken than Sam had ever seen him. 

And he knew right then that he would do anything to get Cas back, if only to heal his brother's broken heart. 

***

"Sam, Eileen!" Dean opens the door, smiling. "Good to see you two!" Dean opens the door wider, letting in Sam and Eileen into their house. 

"Uncle Dean!" A three year old kid runs in between his parents legs and Dean picks him up. 

"Hey, kid!" Dean says, holding Sam and Eileen's kid, Jamie, on his hip as he leads Sam and Eileen into the kitchen. 

"Cas! They're here!" Dean shouts, setting Jamie down to finish cooking dinner. 

Cas comes down the stairs, and gives Sam and Eileen a hug, before kneeling down to say hi to Jamie. 

Dean watches with a fond expression, and Sam groans. 

"It's been fifteen years, Dean, I swear." Sam mutters. Eileen stifles a laugh, and Dean sticks his tongue out. 

Cas stands up. 

"Dinner's ready?" He asks. Dean nods, and the five of them walk to the table, sitting down. 

Jamie chatters on about school, and his friends, and Sam catches Dean and Cas staring at each other, matching expressions of fondness on their faces. 

Sam rolls his eyes, but he doesn't mean it. 

He's never seen Dean this happy, and he wouldn't trade their sappy glances for anything. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AWWWW SUPER CUTE TO MAKE UP FOR ANGST!!!!
> 
> ive literally had this idea for so long, and i got tension in my word generator, and i was psyched!!!
> 
> i hoped you liked it, please leave kudos and comments!!
> 
> xx


	20. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dean has a nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its a lot cooler than it sounds

_"It's just so beautiful."_

_Dean looked around at the annual pie fair, smiling, but something felt... off._

_Dean shoved it down, and walked into the pie fair._

_***_

_"I'm just... I'm thinking about Cas, you know."_

_Dean wanted to scream, he wanted to cry._

_Yes! He knew! He didn't stop thinking about Cas!_

_But that's not what he said._

_"Yeah. Yeah, no, I think about them too." Dean paused, and he can feel himself screaming. This wasn't what he wanted to say! "You know what? That pain's not going to go away. You know what? That pain's not gonna go away. Right? But if we don't keep living, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing. So, quit being a friggin' Eeyore, huh? Come on."_

_Dean motioned to the six pieces of pie on his lap._

_Inside, he felt himself breaking apart._

_Sam! This wasn't what he needed to say!_

_But Sam doesn't notice anything's wrong._

_And why would he?_

_***_

_"Alright let's see." Dean flips through John's journal, a bad feeling spreading through him._

_He and Sam hadn't taken on one of John's cases since probably about ten years ago. Maybe more._

_"He didn't find much, but the witness did draw this." Dean handed Sam the journal. "Kids were taken. The adults that weren't killed had their..."_

_"Their tongues ripped out."_

_Dean gagged_

_"You know what this is?" Dean didn't wait for an answer. "Mimes."_

_Why was he joking around? This wasn't right this wasn't right this wasn't right._

_"Vamp-mimes. Son of a bitch."_

_Not right not right not right not right not r-_

_Flowing like a mantra in his brain._

_***_

_"I'll take the itty bitty one." The vampire stammered._

_"That's a bad choice." Sam said, flipping open the pocket knife._

_"You see, this... This is quick. It's clean. You know, no muss, no fuss. You blink, and you're dead."_

_"But a blade this small... I'm gonna have to keep sawing and sawing to get your head off, and you'll feel it. Every muscle, tendon, every inch. It could take hours." Sam smiled, a terrifying smile, not one that Dean knew._

_A soulless smile. One that scared Dean._

_But he didn't say anything._

_He never said anything._

_***_

_Dean feels the rebar impale him. It hurt._

_It hurt._

_He could walk away from this, he knew that._

_But he didn't want to._

_He couldn't keep doing this._

_He couldn't keep living, not when it wasn't worth it._

_"Dean..." Sam trailed off, tears streaming down his face._

_It hurt it hurt it hurt but he would have to leave his brother._

_Goodbye Sam._

_***_

_"So, I guess the question is... what are you gonna do now, Dean?" Bobby asked._

_Dean set the beer down._

_He wanted to see Cas he wanted to see Cas please let him see Cas_

_"I think I'll go for a drive."_

_He was tearing himself up from the inside._

_This was wrong this was wrong this was wrong._

_Dean got up and walked over to his car, his childhood home, but not his home, not the home he wanted to be._

_He drove and drove and drove and drove and drove._

_And nothing._

_No sign of his family._

_He was alone._

_Again._

Dean sat up, gasping for breath, his heart pounding in his chest, blood rushing to his ears. 

He moves around in the bed, looking for looking for-

"Cas!" Dean says, his voice strangled, a lump in his throat. 

"Dean, what is it, what's wrong?" Dean lets out a sigh of relief as Cas sits up next to him. 

Dean throws his arms around Cas, tears falling down his face. 

"You're okay." Dean murmurs, burying his face in Cas's neck, trying to push his nightmare out of his mind. 

"Do you want to talk?" Cas asks. 

Dean shakes his head, and Cas tightens his hold on his boyfriend. 

"Okay." 

"Okay?"

"I won't push you to talk if you don't want to you. But I will always be here if you need to talk. As I've always been."

"I love you so much."

"I love you too. Thank you."

"Of course, Dean."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nightmare, vague, creepy esque style is so fun to write.   
> like i hated having to go back and find the transcript for *gags* 15.20, but this was so fun
> 
> also i promise not all of this will be fix its!!!!!
> 
> but please leave kudos and comments!!!
> 
> xx


	21. Lily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas accidentally adopt a psychic.

In hindsight, it maybe wasn't the best idea. 

It sounded like a smart idea at the time.

Oh, Dean and Cas, two of the most powerful hunters, they can most certainly babysit a two year old kid for a week, while Jody and Patience try to find a home for her. 

Sounds easy. 

They're both good with kids, so it should be a piece of cake. 

What Jody failed to mention was that the kid was a psychic. 

And a powerful one at that. 

All helpful things Dean believes Jody should've mentioned.

Not that his answer would've changed. 

He still would've watch the kid for a week. 

(Cas would still tease him about it. " _I thought no chick flick moment's, Dean._ " Ass.) 

But anyway, the psychic child. 

She was a handful. 

Every so often, she would get splitting headaches, resulting in visions that she couldn't quite vocalize. 

Dean went out, probably after the fourth time this has happened, and bought child Advil, paper, and markers. 

He sat down with the girl, and handed her the art supplies. 

"Try this." He said gently. The psychic smiles, and uncaps a marker, starting to scribble over the paper. 

From the doorway, Cas watches, a soft smile on his face. 

Maybe this week wouldn't be such a bad idea. 

***

Jody and Patience were coming in thirty minutes. 

But... well, Dean and Cas loved having the child with them. 

Dean pulled out his phone and texted Jody, asking if she and Patience had found any people who wanted her, like she was an animal to be adopted. 

Patience texted back a moment later, saying that no they hadn't. 

Dean locked eyes with Cas, who nods. 

Dean texts back, saying that they'll adopt the psychic if no one wants her. 

Patience calls them two seconds later, asking if they're serious. Cas chimes in there saying yes. 

They are serious. They want her. 

***

Five years later. 

Dean and Cas had gotten married two years before, with their little psychic as the flower girl. 

She was throwing white flowers down, the hunters and extended family cooing as she stood next to Eileen. 

Now, she could fully verbalize her visions, but she always preferred to draw them out with a marker, as her father had taught her five years ago. 

She sketched out a flower, then two, then a bouquet. 

The girl then ran into her parents room, jumping on their bed. 

"Happy father's day!" She shouts, thrusting her drawing at them. 

Dean takes it and smiles. 

"They're beautiful. Thank you, Lily." 

Lily wraps her dad in a hug, before hugging her other dad. 

"I love you both. Now get up! I want breakfast!" Lily demands. 

Dean and Cas laugh, and get out of bed, the three of them heading into the kitchen to make breakfast. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kind of love the idea of dean and cas adopting some wayward supernatural child, so here was born this idea!!!
> 
> anywho, please leave kudos and comments, it warms my heart!!!!
> 
> xx


	22. Veil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sci-Fi AU, where Dean and Cas are both pilots and best friends who both believe their love is unrequited. 
> 
> one day, dean takes an aspiring pilot out to fly, and it doesn't go the way he thought it would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick note, this is based off of Bonds of Brass by Emily Skrutskie, but there aren't any spoilers, so if you ever want to read the book, you won't be spoiled!!

"Have you ever flown anti-gravity before?" Dean asks. 

Charlie winces and bites her lip, before shaking her head. 

Dean sighs. 

"Alright, here's what you want to do. Release the thruster-"

Charlie slams down the lever, and immediately, they start spinning into deep space. 

"SLOWLY CHARLIE SLOWLY! HIT THAT BUTTON!" Charlie slams on the button, and the ship stops spinning. 

"Sorry." Charlie says meekly. 

Dean runs a hand through his hair. 

"Okay. If we don't get control of this, we're going to drift into space. The problem with lowering the thrusters quickly, is that you've shut down most of our systems." Charlie winces again. "They'll reset in ten minutes, but we might not have that time, so we're going to have to bypass that command, so we can get out of here." 

Charlie's hands hovered over the control board, before she presses a series of buttons that jolted them forward. 

"THE OTHER RED BUTTON, CHARLIE!" Dean shouts, panic rising.

_He could die. This is it, he could die and Cas would never- he would never know._

Charlie looks around, before finding a red button, and hitting it. 

They slowed down. 

Charlie turned on the thrusters slowly, and they moved forward, right as an asteroid hit the glass. 

Their ship spun out of control. 

Dean gripped onto his seatbelt. 

_Oh shit oh shit oh shit._

_He should've told Cas, he should've said something, instead of letting them drift apart._

_Now he was going to die, and Cas wouldn't know._

Charlie reaches out and with nimble fingers, bypasses the thrusters, and stops the spinning. 

There's a large crack on the glass, and Charlie glances up at it, as she navigates the ship back down to land. 

Dean stumbles out of the ship. 

He has to find Cas. 

***

Cas had heard about Dean and Charlie's flight from a nearby pilot. 

The thought of Dean dying tore him apart from the inside, tainting every breath he took as he raced down to the landing strip where Dean and Charlie's ship hit the ground, tremors shaking through the pilot. 

Cas bites his lip to keep himself from yelling Dean's name. 

_Why was this so hard, they'd been in plenty of near death experiences before, why was this any different?_

"CAS!" Dean limps out of the ship, and Cas looks up. He starts running towards Dean, meeting him in the middle and hugging him. 

Tears threaten to fall as Cas buries his face in Dean's neck. 

"I was so scared you were dead." Cas murmurs. "They said that two pilots were having trouble out of atmosphere and I was terrified I was going to lose you. Dean, I really don't want to lose you." 

Dean inhales sharply. "I didn't want to die. I was so scared that I wouldn't survive without telling you..." 

Dean breaks the hug, holding Cas out at arm's length. 

"Dean?"

"I could feel it. Death, the veil, and it was cold, and it was dark, and I can't- I don't want to feel it again. At least, not without telling you-" 

Dean drops his arms and looks down at the ground. 

"Tell me what, Dean?" Cas prompts. 

"I love you. Cas, I- I've loved for so long, it's tearing me apart. And you don't have to say anything, I just couldn't go another day without saying it." Dean says. 

Cas says nothing, only grabs onto Dean's arm and pulls him forward, kissing him. 

"You idiot. I love you too." 

Dean blushes and smiles, meeting Cas's eyes.

"HEY DORKS GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME WITH THESE ENGINES!" Charlie shouts. 

Dean laughs. "COMING!"

Cas grins, and interlaces their fingers, before the pair walk over to Charlie, their interlocked hands swinging between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> full disclosure, as im sure you could tell, i have no idea how to fly a spaceship, so i made stuff up
> 
> as always please leave kudos and comments!!!
> 
> xx


	23. Creep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some pedo is hitting on cas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> au where cas just graduated college

Cas hates this. 

His best friend Charlie works part time at a bar and Cas is her ride home, since they're roommates, but that also entails waiting at the bar until her shift is over. 

Really, it looks sad. 

Cas used to sit at the bar reading, studying, whatever he had to do to pass his college classes. 

Now, college is over, Charlie is working at the bar still, and now Cas is waiting. 

Only he forgot a book, so he just looks pathetic. 

(It is pathetic, but that's not the point.)

Cas looks over at the clock above the door. 

Thirty more minutes. 

He can wait for thirty minutes. 

Ten minutes in, and Cas is restless. 

Waiting is frustrating, and there's this creep that keeps looking over at him. 

Cas looks down at the bar, and sips his soda, hoping that the guy will ignore him. 

Apparently Cas was having an off day, and the guy slide into a seat next him. 

"Hey gorgeous." Cas looks up. "You waiting for anyone?"

Cas didn't know what to say. What can he say to get this dude away from him. 

"Well?" The guy asks. "Are you?" His tone got sharper, and Cas really wished Charlie didn't have inventory today. 

"Yeah. I'm waiting for someone." Cas replies, holding his head high. 

The guy's eyes darken. Cas itches to move away, to get out of this bar, but he promised Charlie. 

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not."

"I don't like people who lie to me." Cas tries to get out of his seat when the man's hand shoots out to grip his wrist. "And you lied to me."

"Please stop." Cas begs, trying to pull his arm out of the man's grip. "Please, you're hurting me." 

The man's gaze narrows, like he's hunting prey. 

Cas pulls at his arm, right as a man with bright green eyes comes over and slips his arm around Cas's waist. 

"Why are you touching my boyfriend?" The other man asks. 

"Your-" Cas's creep cuts himself off and hisses at the pair. He throws Cas's wrist down and stomps to the other side of the bar. 

The green-eyed man immediately removes his arm. "I'm sorry, but you looked really uncomfortable. I hope I didn't make anything worse."

Cas shakes his head. "You didn't. Thank you."

"Of course. I'm Dean." Dean holds out his hand, and Cas shakes it. 

"Cas."

"Nice to meet you, Cas."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long, but it's here now!!!
> 
> in unrelated, political news, trump's twitter is suspended!!!!! super exciting!
> 
> i know, at least in the us, the past few days have been super fucking crazy, so if you need anything, you can message me on tumblr (angelwiththeblue-box) 
> 
> please leave kudos and comments!!
> 
> xx


	24. Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tfw 3.0's thoughts on revenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not very happy bc ao3 deleted my original, but this one is good

Dean Winchester was a man of revenge. 

Or so he liked to tell himself that. 

Dean didn't want to be a killer, he didn't want that to be his legacy, but his father's quest for revenge seemed to have rubbed off on Dean the wrong way. 

And now he is known as a killer, a monster-hunter, a demon-killing psychopath.

He didn't like revenge, he knew it didn't work, never has. 

But sometimes, after everything, Dean needs to hurt someone, needs to hurt someone the way they hurt him. 

For all the people he's lost, he wants revenge every once in a while. 

Castiel didn't think about revenge that much. 

It wasn't something that tended to cross his mind, and he often was busier with other things.

He was a warrior, a leader, but he didn't like it. 

The excessive killing has never been Castiel's style. 

But for the Winchesters, for his _family_ , he would. 

To keep Dean and Sam safe, Castiel would do anything. 

And if they got hurt, if they died, Castiel didn't know what he would do. 

Sam Winchester loved revenge.

Not in a psychotic way. But enough of his family members have died, and so naturally, Sam wants to bring them justice. 

He had grown up without a mother, without his father, his brother was always off doing his own thing. 

Sam wanted revenge for his childhood, his and his brother's lost childhood, he wanted revenge for his friends, for Jo, for Ellen, for Charlie and Kevin. 

His family deserved justice. 

And so Sam would get revenge.

Jack Kline hated revenge. 

It was a cycle. 

Kill one person, then they want revenge, then you want revenge, and it just goes on and on. 

Jack might be young and naive, but he hated death. 

He hated watching his family die, but after three years with the Winchesters and Cas, he'd realized something. 

There was no point in revenge. 

The one thing he agreed with Billie on is that what's dead should stay dead. 

So, he wouldn't get revenge, he would focus on living for the people he'd lost. 

Eileen Leahy grew up on revenge. 

She told herself that it was the best way. 

Kill the banshee that took everything from her and her problems would be solved. 

Her problems were not solved. 

She killed the banshee and suddenly her whole life opened up. 

She considered law school again, she considered a great many options. 

In the end she stayed with Sam. 

Without her endless search for revenge, she would't've met Sam, or the rest of the Winchester clan. 

Revenge was unnecessary in the long run, and it didn't help anything, so no, Eileen would choose not to get revenge. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i know what i was writing? no i made it up, but its fine
> 
> please leave kudos and comments!!
> 
> xx


	25. Snack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Movie night?"  
> "I'll make popcorn." 
> 
> That one scene in s15 i think?? (i have no idea) 
> 
> movie night!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> j*red commented in an article that dean didn't want sam to marry eileen, and i couldn't believe i read that, so in response, here's a cute fic of them all getting along and being HAPPY 
> 
> j*red is super fucking incorrect also, im very fucking angry

"Movie night?" Dean suggests. 

Eileen grins, and signs while talking. "I'll make popcorn."

Dean cheers and points at her. "Yes! See, that's the proper response." 

Sam smiles and looks down at the table. 

"Alright, let's go. Dean, no westerns." Sam lifts his head up so Eileen can read his lips. 

Dean looks at his younger brother in exasperation. 

"Cas, back me up. Westerns." Dean looks at his boyfriend pleadingly. 

Cas just sighs and shakes his head. 

"I hate this family." Dean mumbles. Sam laughs, and he and Eileen stand up. 

"C'mon Eileen. We'll make popcorn, while Dean and Cas pick out a _good_ movie." Sam and Eileen walk to the kitchen, listening to Dean listing out every movie he knows. 

"Hey, Sam." Eileen touches Sam's arm, and he turns to face her. "Thank you."

It wasn't a lot of words, but Sam understood. He smiles and reaches out to take her hand. 

"Of course." He says and signs. 

Eileen blushes, and they start their walk to the kitchen again. 

***

Dean laughed as he twirled Cas around. 

The four hunters got bored of the movie pretty quickly, choosing to put on music and dance around the bunker as annoyingly as possible. 

Eileen takes photos of the three men taking every opportunity to out weird each other. 

Sam moves over to Eileen and leans against the table. 

"Dance with me." He signs. 

"I can't hear the music." Eileen responds, pointing at her ears. 

"We don't need music." Sam tugs Eileen forward, and she sighs, grinning as he twirls her around, mimicking Dean and Cas's dancing. "See." 

"Fine. You were right." 

Sam smiles brightly, and Eileen blushes. 

"Hey, lovebirds, we're playing Uno!" Dean says. 

Sam looks over and Eileen follows his gaze to see Dean holding a deck of cards. 

Eileen grabs the deck of cards and starts shuffling the cards. 

Sam sits across from her, next to Cas. 

Dean sits next to Eileen as she deals the cards. 

"You all are going to lose." Dean announces, looking at his cards. 

"Dean, you suck at Uno." Sam replies. 

"Shuddup." Sam laughs as Eileen places her first card down. 

The game goes on late into the night, all four member very competitive. 

Finally, Eileen puts down her last card, cheering. 

"Ha! I won!" 

Dean slumps and hits his head against the table. 

Eileen dances around the table triumphantly. 

Cas reaches across the table to console his boyfriend as Sam and Eileen decide to head to bed. 

After all, it had been a long night, and they did have an annoying God to deal with. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the ending was shit but i dont care
> 
> also sorry, apparently not movie night, apparently it was game/dance night!! :)
> 
> please leave kudos and comments!!!!
> 
> xx


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